10.12.15

My Biggest Weakness


This post is like 3 days late.

As usual my brain crippling assessments and horrid procrastination got the best of me and I literally had to bribe myself to get this done, plus my other homework's that are pilling up in a corner somewhere.

Honestly GCSE prep will be the death of me.

I'm pretty sure I mentioned this post going up in "What I've Learned From Getting A Debit Card"
But don't quote me on that.


Basically, as we are all human (although if you are not I don't discriminate against aliens) we have weaknesses.
(I abruptly ended this point because I had no idea where I was going with it)

I don't know how "relatable" this is going to be but I'll see how it goes.
What my main weakness is:
I overthink

Most of my friends do it to but without sounding like a huge drama queen, I feel like for me its... worse.
Mainly because they seem more chilled with life but with me I stop myself from doing certain things because my stupid head decides to bring about 604 different ways a situation could end badly.

I have about 2,400 different overthinking stories but that would probably crash your computer because its so long and/or win some type of Guinness world record so I'll just do one main one.

Basically a few days ago my school had a non uniform day and I spent roughly 4 days planning what to wear beforehand because when it comes to non uniform day.
It.Gets.Serious.

(only for me though, everyone plans their outfits in like 10 minutes)
When I was going through what to wear these are the questions I had come across:

Should I wear these jeans?
But If I do everyone will laugh at me because they don't match this top!

Should I wear this jacket?
Nope definitely not, I wore this 3 years ago people are going to remember and think I have no clothes!
(I hate when my brain overthinks this question in particular because I know wearing a specific item of clothing more than once does not mean you're deprived of clothes)

Should I wear this hat?
Nope! I'll look super silly and then my principal will tell me to take it of and everyone will laugh at me whilst I get told off.

Should I wear white jeans?
Ugh obviously not! These particular pair of white jeans might get dirty or wet and then I'll look gross.

It definitely annoys my best friend because I'll ask him things and then I'll go to far by overthinking different outcomes, plus I'm super indecisive which makes my overthinking worse.

Wait!
I have another story (but its short don't worry)
When I was in year/grade 8 I asked my mum for a new bag for school which she agreed to and when she returned home and showed me, I loved it.
But when I flipped it round to look at all of it,
It had a playboy bunny on it
And not a subtle bunny but a giant pink playboy bunny.
I honestly thought there was more bunny than bag.
Obviously my mum struggled to find the problem but I felt my brain going into panic mode, I immediately became overwhelmed with about 1000 situations that could happen such as:
  • Me getting detention for wearing a bag with a playboy logo as you know playboy is quite an "adult" company
  • Me getting suspended for having equipment that is associated with sexual magazines
  • People judging me for being a minor but having a bag associated with "adult material"
My mum was quite oblivious to all of this and only saw it as a pink bunny and I'm guessing everyone else in my school would've thought the same but *sigh* overthinking is such an annoying quality to have.

To this day that playboy bag is still stuffed behind a coat rack, even though my current bag is quite ripped, I would rather use a flimsy plastic bag than go to that bag, I still have the fear of getting in trouble.

I will never change will I?
Probably not.

2 comments:

  1. I could not relate to this more. I know you probably think that I'm just like everyone else, but I think all of the same stuff as you. I have a real problem with anxiety and so tend to overthink literally everything I do, it drives all of my friends and my boyfriend nuts!
    Don't think that you're alone though, I totally feel the same and probably would have done the same if my mum had given me a playboy bag too. Actually, one of my friends once bought me a semi see through shirt and even tho I love it, i've never been able to wear it as I'm too afraid of being judged!!

    Maybe we can just be overthinkers together :P xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let's definitely be over thinkers together!
      I'm glad you could relate to this and I'd most definitely be the same if I had a semi see through shirt

      Delete

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